Marketing fails when we talk past people. That was the punch I took from Kipp Bodnar and Kieran Flanagan. Their message is simple: people aren’t always having the same kind of conversation you are. That mismatch kills trust and results. My view is blunt. If you don’t match the conversation type, your message won’t land.
This matters because buyers are tired of noise. Teams ship features and shout benefits while customers want to be seen. I’ve built products and communities for decades. The gap between what we say and what people hear is the most expensive mistake in marketing.
The Three Conversations You Must Match
Their framing hit home for me. We move through three kinds of conversations. Practical, emotional, and social. Miss the type, and people tune out. Kipp and Kieran laid it out through a simple story that we all know from life, not just work.
“Every single discussion is made up of different kinds of conversation, practical conversations where we’re solving problems together. But then there’s emotional conversation… I don’t want you to solve my feelings. I want you to empathize. And then there’s social conversations, which is about how we relate to each other and to society.”
That’s not theory. It’s a daily trap. You bring a fix when someone wants empathy. You bring an opinion when someone wants belonging. Marketing is no different.
“If people aren’t having the same kind of conversation at the same moment, they have real trouble hearing each other.”
In my experience with crypto and online business, this shows up in launch copy, community chats, and customer support. A token drops. Markets swing. Founders post charts when holders want reassurance. The charts may be true. But they are the wrong conversation. The result is silence or revolt.
Storytelling Is the Bundle—and the Roadmap
“Storytelling is a bundle of all three conversations that tells you what kind of conversation you’re…”
That line is gold. It explains why great stories cut through. They identify the moment and invite the right response. They set the mode. Here’s how I apply this:
- Start with the emotional truth: name the fear, hope, or frustration.
- Shift to the practical: show the path and the proof.
- Close with the social: define the group, values, and identity.
That sequence builds connection, clarity, and community. It’s not fluff. It’s a structure for action.
What This Looks Like In Practice
Product update email? Open with empathy about recent pain points. Then explain what changed and why it matters. End by inviting feedback in a shared forum. That is emotional, practical, and social in order.
Announcing a new feature in a bear market? Lead with the mood on the ground. Acknowledge the hits people took. Then show the utility, with a simple demo and a short proof point. Finish by framing what kind of holder or user this is for. Don’t pitch a fix when people want to feel heard.
Community conflict? Skip the solution for a beat. Reflect the feelings. Then suggest next steps with clear rules. End with a statement of shared norms. That social layer keeps the group intact.
But What About Pure Performance?
Data-first teams may say results win, not feelings. I love numbers. But numbers live inside stories. Even clicks follow meaning. If you only run practical copy, you’ll get short spikes and long churn. If you only run emotional copy, you’ll get hype and no stickiness. The blend drives durable growth.
My Playbook for Conversation Fit
Here are steps I use with my teams across marketing and social:
- Label the moment: emotional, practical, or social. Pick one to start.
- Write the first line to match that mode, not your agenda.
- Layer the other two modes in the next beats.
- Signal the mode shift with simple cues: “Here’s what to do next…” or “Here’s what this means for us.”
- Measure by response quality, not just clicks.
This keeps messages human and useful. It also trains teams to listen before they speak.
The Case for Mode-Matched Marketing
My stance is clear. Every campaign should declare its conversation type and earn the right to switch modes. You’ll get fewer mixed signals, fewer “didn’t read,” and more action. Kipp Bodnar and Kieran Flanagan gave a simple frame you can use today. It maps to how people actually talk.
Try it in your next email, ad, or video. Start in the right mode. Then guide people through the other two. You’ll see deeper replies and better retention. You’ll also sound like a person, not a machine.
If you want to stop talking past customers, match the moment. Tell a story that names the feeling, solves the problem, and builds the group. Then ask for the click.
Call to action: Audit one live campaign this week. Label each line as emotional, practical, or social. Fix the mismatches. Then watch how fast people start to actually hear you.
