stop chasing clients start choosing

Stop Chasing Clients And Start Choosing Them

joel_comm
By
Joel Comm
Joel is a New York Times Best-selling author – focused on cryptocurrency, marketing, social media and online business. An Internet pioneer, Joel has been creating profitable...
5 Min Read

I just watched Adam Erhart walk through a sales mindset that flips the script on how most of us win business. His core message is simple and sharp. Stop convincing. Start qualifying. I agree. The fastest way to raise your close rate is to raise your standards.

Here’s my stance. Sales gets easier the minute clients feel they must earn a spot with you. Not with false limits or hype, but with real selectivity. That shift is ethical, powerful, and long overdue.

The Gatekeeper Mindset, Not the Beggar

Erhart’s best idea is what he calls a gatekeeper approach. You set the bar. They reach for it. That flips the power dynamic without pressure or tricks.

“Thanks for reaching out. Before we dive in, I want to make sure we’re a good fit.”

That one line signals standards. No fake scarcity. No “three spots left” nonsense. You are selective because results matter.

He ties this to psychological reactance. Tell people something is not automatic, and they work harder to qualify. You are not blocking them. You are asking them to prove alignment.

“You’re not creating fake scarcity around your availability. You’re creating real selectivity around who you choose to work with.”

The Psychology That Flips Sales

Erhart stacks smart moves that invite action without pressure. These three stood out for me.

  • Open with qualification, not a pitch. It moves the mind from “Do I want this?” to “Am I a fit?”
  • Ask, “On a scale of 1–10, how painful is this?” Then, “What would make it a 10?” They surface the true cost of waiting.
  • Use freedom language to reduce resistance.

Each tactic removes friction, not agency. That’s key. The most elegant nudge he shares is a four-word phrase backed by a mountain of research.

“But you are free.”

Add it after a clear next step, then pause. The permission to walk away makes a yes feel self-directed. Pressure kills momentum. Permission creates it.

Where I Push Further

As someone who’s built and sold online offers for decades, I’ll add this. Gatekeeping only works if your pipeline is healthy. If you need every deal, your voice gives it away. Prospects can hear hunger.

Build demand before the call. Adam’s “client machine” angle nails this: create simple triggers that start conversations, reply fast, answer every call, and reactivate past buyers. That keeps you from sounding needy when you qualify.

Second, pair selectivity with identity. Buyers want a status upgrade, not just a fix. Erhart’s line hits it clean:

“Go from blending in as a freelancer to standing out as the authority.”

That message sells the future self. It also justifies premium pricing without drama.

Try This Next

Use this short sequence on your very next call. It works even if you hate “selling.”

  1. Open as a gatekeeper: “Before we dive in, I want to make sure we’re a good fit.”
  2. Diagnose pain: “On a scale of 1–10, where are you right now?” Then, “What would make it a 10?”
  3. Confirm value: “From what you’ve shared, this should solve the problem. Does it feel right for what you want?”
  4. Offer clear paths: Three options, with the middle one labeled for fast movers.
  5. Release pressure: “You’re free to say no or take more time.” Then be silent.

Every step reduces doubt while keeping momentum. The silence at the end is not a trick. It’s respect.

The Dark Stuff, Used Lightly

Erhart also covers tougher levers: future pacing, objection flips, and telling your “pit” story. Used well, these build trust. Used hard, they backfire. My rule is simple. If it wouldn’t help a friend, don’t say it to a client.

“Hard selling just doesn’t work. It creates buyer remorse and difficult clients.”

Right. You want buyers who feel proud of their choice, not trapped by it.

The Close

Here’s my final take. Raise your bar. Let clients qualify. Protect their freedom to choose. You’ll win faster, and you’ll enjoy the work more.

Today, rewrite your opener. Define real criteria. Draft your three options. Practice the freedom line out loud until it feels natural. Then ship it. Choice beats chase, every time.

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Joel is a New York Times Best-selling author – focused on cryptocurrency, marketing, social media and online business. An Internet pioneer, Joel has been creating profitable websites, software, products and training since 1995.